I saw you today. In a rainbow. 

And I wondered. 
I wondered what it would feel like to have you snuggled against me next to your brother. 

I wondered what parts of you would be just like him and what parts would be your own. 

I wondered if you would love the Moa Hunt book too. Or would your favourite be different. 

I wondered what it would be like to read to you, to talk to you, to touch you.

I wondered if we would have eating or crawling because you would have encouraged each other. 

I wondered if we would have had less talking because you would have had your own language together. 

I wondered what your sleeping would have been like and would you have cried much. 

I wondered what it would feel like to open my arms and have you both fall into them. 

I wondered if you would be the loud one or the fast one, or the rascal.

I wondered if you would have been a daddy’s boy. 

I wondered how we would have managed, but I know we would have. 

I wondered if your brother can feel you, if he misses you.

I wondered if you can feel him, if you miss him.

I wondered if you would have liked custard, or buttercream icing. 

I wondered if you know how much I desperately miss you and how much I wish everything were different. 

I wondered if you’re okay, wherever you are. 

I wondered if the days without you will get easier, and I know they won’t. 

And I wondered if the rainbow will ever know how much it means to us? 

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Author: rfclews

I'm just another mum trying to figure all of this out, with the added bonus of getting to start extra early, and well and truly on the back foot!

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