A milestone for mum. 

I use the term ‘normal mums’ a lot, and I’m beginning to hate it because it doesn’t sound good and I feel bad for using it. I’m just not sure of another way to put it though. The mums who go to play groups and hang out with toddlers, the ones who are out and about and just feed their kids. I love my ‘normal mum’ friends as they show me the goodness that’s out there, while also showing me that that’s bloody hard work too. It’s a world I don’t know, and I’m sad about that. But I guess I’m also privileged to be in this other world because I’ve met some pretty amazing people.Today, with one of my Nicu besties we had what we could only call our first, real, long, normal mum morning. I came home with a lightness in my heart that I haven’t felt in a long time. I felt like we could do this. That although we are still well and truly in the tunnel and sometimes it doesn’t feel like there’s a light at the end, I have realised there are some lights along the way. 

We went to a playgroup. A preemie playgroup run by therapists, but a playgroup nonetheless. We sat with a few other mums, and our babies played and babbled, and we talked and listened. Then, when all the kids were on their way to hysterical with tiredness we walked up to a cafe for a coffee while our boys chilled in their prams. 

We went to playgroup and then out for coffee. How normal can you get??? 

It was a mission getting out of the house like it is for any parent. Reshuffling of feed times, sacrificed sleep, and a bag full of tubie equipment. But we did it and it was so unbelievably worth it, because while we were at playgroup our boys became the BIGGEST show offs! 

We work extremely hard encouraging Oliver’s development because we know how high the risk is for him to be delayed. We give him every opportunity, complete every exercise the physio recommends, we push him probably a little too hard at times but today he simply shone. 

I put him down on that mat with his friends and he sat there. He just sat there. All by himself. 

Thank you Oliver for being my superhero buddy on a normal mum day. This is a shout out to every parent who made it out of the house today, I know how hard it is, but damn it feels good once you’ve done it. 

 

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Author: rfclews

I'm just another mum trying to figure all of this out, with the added bonus of getting to start extra early, and well and truly on the back foot!

4 thoughts on “A milestone for mum. ”

  1. I’m so jealous that you have a real life nicu mom friend!

    I had started out with “normal” mom vs “preemie” mom, but I agree, I don’t like the way it sounds. I’ve started calling them “full term” moms and “preemie/nicu” moms. Because our journeys are so different, especially the start of them, that I don’t think it’s fair to lump us all together just yet. Like you said, preemie and nicu moms are always worried about development, because we know the risks are higher. Full term moms generally don’t worry as much because they haven’t really had to. I’m generalizing here, but preemie and nicu parents know the stakes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, it’s really hard to know what to say, I class myself as a NICU mum, and then I guess the others are mums, and we shouldn’t feel separate but we do. We had six month in the NICU if I hadn’t made a few friends I would have gone mad. And I’m grateful everyday for them as they make me feel less alone. And online Nicu mum friends count just as much!! So you have us too!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Seeing Mr O sitting so proudly today was one of the proudest moments I’ve had on this journey! And I’m not even his mumma! You guys do normal so well, but please don’t ever become TOO normal…. You’re far too special for that. (Let’s just normalise the normal stuff eh? Eat, poo, play!)

    Can’t wait for more normal time, I’m personally hoping for another survey 😆

    Love you team! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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