Today’s topic is numbers.
From the minute you’re pregnant you become obsessed with numbers.
First, how high is your BHCG, then how many weeks pregnant are you, how big is your baby, which centile are they tracking along? We became even more crazy about these numbers that day we discovered there were two little rascals growing in my tummy.
I had in my head that I wanted our boys to at least get to 24 weeks because that is ‘viability’. That although we would have a long road ahead of us, it would be okay because our boys could survive. Ive learnt a lot since then. That actually I should have aimed for 30, that viability does not correlate with quality of life, and that nothing, nothing, nothing can prepare you for how long and hard that road will be.
Now that we have started on this crazy horrible magical trip we have become insane about new numbers.
What percentage of oxygen are they on, what percentage of oxygen are they saturating at, what’s the heart rate, how many centimetres of CPAP, how many centimetres is that OJ tube in, how many mls of milk is going in, how big an aspirate was that, what is his hb, what’s his sodium, what’s his crp, how many days have we been doing this?
Today is 56 days.
Today is 9.5ml/hr continuously OJ.
Today is 2ml/2hrly over an hour OG.
Today is oxygen saturations with a high of 100% and a low of 74% (so far…).
Today is oxygen administration with a high of 40% and a low of 21% (and for all you non-medical folks 21% is room air! 21% is the oxygen level that we all breathe everyday, so that’s success!).
Today is CPAP down from 7cm of pressure to 6cm of pressure.
Today is one day after 32 weeks gestation.
Today is a good day. A day where we can look at those numbers and feel that although the 55 days it took us to get here were horrible and long and sad, today, day 56, is okay.