This day last year we were in the South Island, just finishing up the Kepler track and then hitchhiking to spend New Year’s Eve with a group of friends. We had been trying to get pregnant for 8 months. Felt like 8 years, as each month went by and we were disappointed. Rationally you know for some it takes a while, but that doesn’t stop you feeling sad, feeling like the thing you’ve waited your whole life for just won’t happen. Little did we know we had two little miracles already growing. 365 days later and the world is a different place. The people are the same, except one little person is missing. Our faces are the same except there’s some rings under the eyes and some sadness in the smiles.
You never know what a year will throw at you. No one could have predicted this (though as events unfolded and we look back there were definitely a fair few signs…I hate signs).
We were people who ate, drank, ran, worked, talked, laughed, spent hours with our friends and families, walked all over the country, up hills, across rivers, through snow. We baked, biked, basked in sunlight. We made plans, got excited, struggled with the everyday, we cried sometimes and we loved.
Then we got hit by a hurricane, an earthquake, a tsunami (different to a poonami!!). Now we struggle with the everyday, every day. We cry a lot.
But the other stuff? We still do it. Or will do it. The world ended. But it kept going.
Tomorrow is 2016, but it’s also Friday.
It’s new. But it’s the same.
Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans (Allan Saunders). So no New Years resolutions from us. Just a little list of things we learnt this year, because if we can’t find something to take with us into the next part of life then all we did this year was survive. And although it felt like it at times, I know it’s not true.
1. You can cry over spilt milk.
2. It’s okay if people see your boobs. Like, anyone. They’re just boobs.
3. There is NO SUCH THING as too much cake/chocolate/fudge/candy/biscuits/slice/ice-cream etc, etc, on and on. Life’s too short and shit. Eat.
4. Walking outside with a pram is the bomb-diggity (and helps you feel less guilty about all of number 3!).
5. If you’re going to have a baby, don’t renovate your house (you’ve already started haven’t you? Rookie).
6. Your friends and family will forgive you if you stop talking to them for a while. They will forgive you when you choose to find comfort outside of them. They will forgive you for everything. Because they are your people.
7. People are dicks. Not all of them. But lots of them.
8. Roll your eyes at every single thing people say about having a baby, good or bad. Then be ready to unroll them when you find out they are right. You do survive without sleep, you do love them more than you can even believe possible, they are complete miracles of bloody hard work.
9. If you have to say goodbye to your dreams you will never be the same. It’s okay not to like the fact that other people got to keep theirs, whatever they are. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Forgive yourself. Find someone to be your hate buddy and let rip.
10. Think long and hard about that swaddle people. There is No. Going. Back. Once. You. Start.